


Helga's Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream

by Holmesslice



Category: Hey Arnold!
Genre: Dysfunctional Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Friendship/Love, Gen, Love Confessions, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-11-12
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:18:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 19,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holmesslice/pseuds/Holmesslice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A familiar face leaves Helga reeling</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Helga's Favorite Flavor Returns

**Author's Note:**

> I decided to make San Lozano an area rather than a country. I also took information from Parent's Day and tried to make an educated guess as to where his parents had been. I also decided to not delve into the whole adventure and opted to possibly refer to them as flashbacks.
> 
> This takes place senior year of high school. My plan is to have this story to happen over the course of a few years which includes 4 years of university. Thanks for reading :)

**Chapter One: Helga's Favorite Flavor Returns**

It had been some time since Helga had heard about Arnold. She remembered the conversations she had overheard that he and Gerald had about Arnold's parents. The football-shaped head boy she had grown up with since preschool had gone in search of his parents. They had been lost somewhere in Central America. He had worked tirelessly in pinpointing countries and locations they may have been. He was certain that there had been extensive jungle from stories Pookie would tell him.

Costa Rica was out because Pookie's stories mentioned a country that was expansive and a country that was as big as Rhode Island seemed contrary. It had also ruled out El Salvador and Belize seeing they were even tinier than Costa Rica. As he collected evidence and reviewed the countries he had settled on Guatemala. He had remembered mention of extensive ruins and while other countries had archeological ruins he felt this was the best choice.

Another clue of where to start his search had been that they were concentrating on the areas near the Yucatán Peninsula. That left only a small corner of Guatemala. Google maps had relayed different information as to what constituted as part of the peninsula. The induction process had been tiresome but Arnold had happily told his news. It was soon the talk of the school and the neighborhood that for summer vacation Arnold was going to spend his summer in Guatemala.

Helga still remembered Arnold's earnestness. He had a map that had the area that he would concentrate on. The area of interest was slightly northeast of Laguna El Rapasto in el Parque Nacional Sierra del Lacondón (Sierra del Lacondón National Park) and diagonally to the bottommost corner of the border of Belize. That would include Parque Nacional Tikal (Tikal National Park), Reserva de Biosfera Maya, as well as the three lakes and villages in the area.

It had been the summer before sixth grade. Arnold had an essay contest allowing them all to travel to area. Fortune had smiled on Arnold as they allowed him some leeway in planning the itinerary. There was the mandatory stay in Cancún, Mexico. However he had requested that they travel and visit the ruins. It was a concern at first; however, Arnold had made a successful plea citing the anthropological and education experience would only help them in the future. How many students could talk about their experiences in the future, a future that may include college and, more importantly, college essays? He also argued that anyone who did not wish to go could easily stay in the Cancún area.

To say the trip was eventful for those who ventured into the wilds of the jungle would be putting it mildly. In the end only a handful of students went along with Arnold. Arnold's own parents that had been found and they then had dealt with La Sombra. La Sombra had met his horrific end when he simply refused to give up his grudge over the Shortman family. Arnold and his parents had taken the time to mourn over his death as they'd never wish such a fate to anyone.

Helga opened her journal she had written during her a trip. A picture of the gang had fallen out. She stared at the picture mentally making remarks about everyone that had decided to help. Gerald had been obvious. Arnold and he had been thick as thieves since they were basically in diapers. Harold had been only slightly less obvious but he liked being included on adventures. Eugene had been a surprise given his being such a jinx. Plus with the one-time Arnold had tried to make it up to Eugene ended up with Eugene battered and bruised. Apparently Eugene had been okay with Arnold. Stinky, Helga remembered, had been a good kid. She was surprised that Rhonda had decided to tag along. Helga had long suspected that it had to do with wanting the exclusive gossip. Phoebe had come along because not only of Helga tagging along—much to the dismay of Arnold but because she wanted to be close to Gerald.

Despite what Phoebe had protested the coy wayward glance towards Gerald had only proved what Helga had suspected. Helga's only dopey smile towards Arnold had only solidified what she was sure others had suspected. When she had realized that everyone was going to have this picture the self-defensiveness that she had built up over the years had come out in full force. The last few days had grown tense as she had barraged Arnold with insults especially when the pictures had been developed.

She had several excuses. She had several new insults. She had also created with new ways to threaten a beating. In the end, the fragile relationship had weakened between her and Arnold. Even then as she stared at the old memories her heart filled with regret. Helga had been an angry child. She was starved for attention, positive loving attention, and had latched onto the first person to have shown love and sweetness to her. Arnold in preschool had been so nice to her. Her, Helga G. Pataki, who had until then suffered horrible neglect, it had been a miracle for her to learn how to walk and talk with little encouragement.

Throughout her childhood her love for Arnold only deepened. She knew now that her love had been true. It had been the real thing. Despite what the 17 year old logical mind had told her it had been real love. She had once wondered if it was only the obsession of a girl who had no real experience of love. Yet her heart knew otherwise. She would not listen to the bitterness of the adult world with their exclamations that real, pure love did not happen because children were not mature enough. They were too young to be able realize the brevity, the magnitude, the expansiveness of love. They were wrong.

Arnold's parents had even scolded Helga for being too mean. It had been such a slap to Helga. Arnold's own parents, who had been found, hated her. A huge boulder had fallen in her stomach. That only set in concrete what she knew was coming—the rejection. Arnold already had said that he had hated how she was treating him. Arnold's parents had been unhappy with her behavior. Even the other classmates had been dismayed at her appalling behavior.

It was the last night of the trip. Helga had dragged Arnold, who was fighting back, aside. It all came out in one big sentence because Helga knew she had to make it right even if nothing was repaired.

"Football head," Helga started and continued despite Arnold's huff of annoyance, "I'm sorry about earlier. I can't really go into the why I did it because it's a bit personal but that still doesn't excuse how I've been treating you."

"You know you were pretty mean back there," Arnold started noticing Helga's flinch, "but I want to know why you've been acting this way."

"Well," Helga froze and stammered for several long moments.

"What is it, Helga," Arnold urged, "Why have you been such a bully."

"I suppose you could say I'm unaccustomed in dealing with… certain emotions," Helga said softly, "and I've never really been shown a way of dealing…with them… these emotions."

"Helga, what emotions," Arnold stressed, "tell me."

"Look, I'm not ready to tell you," Helga said in a quiet voice that had Arnold a bit surprised, "I don't know if I'll ever be ready to tell you. But if you have to know anything in the very least you should know that I don't actually hate you. Like I said, I'm sorry for how I've treated you. I promise to be a bit… gentler in middle school."

"Middle school," Arnold looked away with a blank expression, "About that…"

Arnold did not return to Sunset Arms. He was going to stay with his parents. His parents had decided to transfer to Costa Rica to teach classes in anthropology and botany. Arnold would grow up in Costa Rica and attend the schools and possibly the universities in the area. It had been a blow to Helga but she had bottled her emotions in. All she could do was give a reassuring squeeze on his shoulder.

"Bye Football-head," Helga smirked, "at least you not only found your parents but they turned out pretty great too."

The Doctor Who ringtone had broken her trip down nostalgia road. She noticed Phoebe's name on the ID. "Odd," Helga muttered to herself. It was still the middle of the afternoon and Phoebe rarely interrupted her studying time.

"You are going to never believe me!" Phoebe squeaked, "you know, um, ice cream?"

"Ice cream" Helga parroted the words, somehow knowing it was not about going to the local ice cream parlor, "what about ice cream?"

"Your favorite flavor is back," Phoebe said in an even squeakier voice.


	2. What the hay?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What started with an interesting evening ends in a panic attack

"Oh my god," Helga blanched, "I need to go, um, yeah!"

She hung up on Phoebe abruptly who no doubt already knew that Helga would talk when she was ready. All the emotions she had kept deep inside had rushed out. She hiccupped loudly as she cried. They had been different reasons for her tears. Happy tears over the fact that she would get to see Arnold again. Helga was going to see what a happy family and a new country had done to him. Sad tears as she remembered how they had parted that one summer in the hot, humid jungle. Anxious tears because if Arnold had remembered he might be asking about why Helga was such a bully growing up. Then there was fear.

She was afraid. She was afraid of the immediate unknown future. What was going to happen? Would he be happy to see her? Would he be weary of her? Was he going to think she had not filled out nicely? What if he had a beautiful Latin girlfriend now? What would his parents think? Most importantly, she thought of the novel she had written for the Scholastic Novel Contest in her high school. It had won.

It had also won the tri-state competition, another huge feat in itself. Especially when Helga had believed that she would not have won the high school competition much less the tri-state competition. The panic attack of having Arnold return only intensified as news of her success would only be gossip fodder for Rhonda and her friends. This meant that the likelihood of Arnold reading her novel was going to increase that much more. She might have altered the story enough but her childhood and her love for Arnold had been the foundation.

Rhonda and the rest of the class had been surprised enough that Helga was going to attend the same private high school with Phoebe. They remembered her not doing so great in elementary and middle school. Little did they know that she was actually rather smart but did not feel motivated to achieve good grades since she had long since decided what had been the point?

She did not want to turn out like Olga who had suffered from her own form of addiction. Olga was addicted in perfectionism. Helga understood why seeing how imperfect Miriam and Bob were as adults and parents. However when the reality of Phoebe leaving Helga was forced into her face she had completely changed and she began to work harder than ever to get a full scholarship into the high school. Sure her grades had not been as great as others but thankfully the admission board had seen past that. With her touching and truthful essay, and the immediate improvement in her grades when she applied some of those on the admission board had seen her potential. Helga was forever grateful for their seeing beyond the grades.

Finally gathering some courage she texted Phoebe back not trusting her voice at that moment.

Helga: I take it you and Gerald are going to see Arnold soon?

Phoebe: Yup, tonight actually at the burger joint near our high school.

Helga: Oh, okay, cool…

Phoebe: Helga, something you want to tell me?

Helga: Nope, nothing, nada, zip, zilch

Phoebe: Oh… so you wouldn't be interested in going with me?

Helga: Um, sure I guess. I have nothing else better to do and watching Cara do her nightly routine is not really all that fun. What time?

Phoebe: Gerald and I are meeting Arnold around 8 o'clock tonight. I don't think anyone else is coming.

Helga: Er, you sure no one else is coming? What if Arnold, like, totally freaks at seeing me? We should maybe invite some of our old gang. It would make it less weird.

Phoebe: On it ;)

Helga let out a deep sigh of relief because now she didn't have to explain why she was being the odd tag along especially given their tumultuous relationship. With any hope at least a few guys would be there. Helga arrived onto the scene and did not really believe what she was witnessing in front of her. Nearly all of the old gang had dropped what they were doing on a moment's notice to visit Arnold. That was the power of being a genuinely nice guy Helga mused. He was going to be type of guy that would have people lining around the block for his funeral. Whereas Helga would be lucky to have a handful of people and that was already counting the parishioner and organ player. She shook out her dark thoughts and approached Phoebe.

"Hey Pheebs," Helga smiled pointedly ignoring Arnold would was most likely already turning his head to stare at the tall blonde girl.

"Helga?" Arnold said surprised, "What are you doing here?"

"To see how you've changed," Helga smirked, "I see you're not a total nerd."

Helga smiled ignoring Arnold's huff of annoyance and eye roll. She sat down near the end of the table. It allowed her some time to observe everyone including Arnold…and the rather pretty Latin woman sitting next to him. "Of course," Helga thought to herself. She chided herself for being too hopeful. Too much hope and they'd be dashed for sure leaving anyone in a much more depressed state. She was no different. She stared at the other end of the table and noticed Phil and Pookie talking animatedly to Arnold's parents. Stella glanced over and smiled warmly to Helga. Helga had not expected a warm smile much less a rather knowing look. Helga could only guess that Stella most likely correctly had guessed about Helga and why she bullied Arnold so much when they were children. At least Stella seemed to have forgiven Helga for being a bully growing up.

Helga quietly opened her phone. She knew it was rude to text at the table but the people sitting around were ignoring her unsure of how to make conversation with her.

Helga: Quick huddle in the bathroom

Phoebe: Give me a few. Still talking to Arnold and his… not girlfriend.

Helga: orz oh… okay

Helga and Phoebe met quickly at the far end of the hallway. They had a quick and hushed conversation where Helga learned that Arnold seemed genuinely shocked at Helga's presence and appearance. It seemed that he was not completely turned off by Helga's new look and curves. "Score one," Helga smiled. That score was quickly diminished when she learned that the Latin woman was being mentored by Arnold's parents. Her name was Maria Sofía. She was a 20-year-old sophomore who had plans of pursuing a doctorate in botany. It came to no shock that Arnold had developed a soft spot for Maria. With her apparent beauty, gentle mannerisms, and sheer intelligence it was everything that Helga had not been. Even then Helga still struggled with putting up such a defensive front.

The rest of the evening had been going well, too well, which only meant that Helga was going to have to deal with some sort of problem. No sooner than she had jinxed her night did she get a call from the local police department. Miriam had been caught intoxicated in public again. She had been doing this more often. She had fallen even heavier into her love "smoothies" and was horribly depressed from the fallout from her divorce from Bob. In some ways Miriam was happy that Bob had finally left. If only he had not made such a point to tear Miriam down at every moment possible. Bob showing off his new bride-to-be that was only a decade older than Helga did not make things any easier for the rest of the Pataki family.

Helga: Pheebs sorry for heading out again like this. Miriam decided to take to drink smoothies outside again.

Phoebe: :( Sorry Helga. Let me know if you need anything.

Helga: New parents would be nice for starters! :T

Helga gathered her purse already making calculations in her head. Miriam had many run-ins with the police because of public intoxication. The burden of making sure to pay for the fines had fallen on her. Olga had long since given up. However with Olga dating some son of an important political figure Helga was surprised they did not try to spin Miriam's story as part of their anti-drug and alcohol campaign. Though it was only a matter of time Helga concluded. Bob, well "B" was ever the blowhard he had always been. Helga still wanted to believe in Miriam. Miriam was still her mom. The times Miriam was actually lucid had been some of the happiest moments in Helga's childhood.

She passed Phoebe and they each gave each other a tight smile. Phoebe was going to demand that Helga spend the night later. Neither had anything to do on Saturday since Phoebe had pushed Helga to do the week's homework early in the week as well as stay a week ahead. Helga was grateful for Phoebe's pushiness because it allowed them to have fun on the weekends. They both needed a girl's night in what with Helga's ice cream dilemma and her family issues and Phoebe feeling the pressure with Gerald and school. Helga huffed to herself not caring who heard,

"Criminy," Helga huffed, "I don't think I can take this anymore."

Arnold looked up confusedly at Helga's words and much more by her expression. It was an expression that rarely should cross the face of a 17 year old. Helga looked defeated, exhausted, troubled and worried. He couldn't help but wonder why. His eyes followed Helga as she headed outside and wondered what was happening that was causing her to mutter in such a frantic way. His look of worry didn't go unnoticed by his parents who followed his line of vision and wondered about the girl who had bullied Arnold so badly that summer so long ago.

It had been early enough for Helga to catch a bus to downtown. She hated taking the bus to Hillside Police Department especially at night. Most of the commuters had already gone home when using this bus to make a connection to one of the boroughs outside of town. Now it was the occasional bum who would spend their evenings staying catching some rest. Then there from time to time rowdy boys would be loud, obnoxious and sometimes would find her attractive. She had her mace and cell phone easily available. Thankfully she had remembered to add minutes to the simple Tracfone.

"Hey there beautiful," the first boy with piercings all along the shell of his ear, "want to have a good time?"

Helga ignored him and the rest of the boys. Their catcalls and pick up lines were getting more aggressive. It was turning nasty the way some act when rejected. She did not want to deal with this now. She silently stood up and sat near the front of the bus. The bus driver intervened telling them to pipe down.

As the bus was fast approaching her stop she was calculating how fast she'd have to walk to reach the police department. She could feel the malicious stares from the boys. They were not normal boys being rebellious. Her gut had been warning her that they were much more dangerous. She decided to miss her stop.

Helga did not know what to do. Normally her rather defensive side, the bully from when she was younger, was enough to discourage too much attention. However she could feel that this was going to be different. She acted nonchalant as if she knew which stop was hers. The last step had been reached when the bus driver had forced the young men off the bus. Helga stared at him and the bus driver nodded as if realizing her hesitation. Because this was the last stop the bus driver was heading back to the depot.

"No worries," Helga smiled weakly, "I can call someone to pick me up and take me where I need to go."

At the bus depot Helga phoned Phoebe doing a soft mantra of "please pick up." Phoebe answered and when Helga had told her what had happened she could hear Phoebe gasp quietly. Helga then heard Gerald annoyed start about why Phoebe would drop everything she was doing to help Helga. Helga overheard the comments and with his tone he seemed to accuse Phoebe of treating Helga better than him. Of course Gerald did not know why Phoebe was going to come pick Helga up.

"Something wrong Phoebe?" Helga heard Arnold's concerned voice.

"Oh," Phoebe started unsure what to say next but with an urging from Helga giving her the okay, "Helga's in bit of a bind. She's stuck at the bus depot something about some iffy group of guys harassing her."

"What?" Arnold said surprised, "She needs to be picked up! Where was she going so late at night?"

"Downtown," Phoebe said quietly, "er for personal reasons."

"What corner?" Gerald said jokingly but quieted immediately at both Arnold's and Phoebe's stares, "So-rry so Pheebs hun you know we can't let you go alone."

Phoebe could hear Helga's noise of surprise and worry. Helga was extremely private with her issues with Miriam. Miriam had become increasingly fragile and hated knowing who would be judging her about her smoothie drinking. Though not enough to actually stop drinking or admit she had a problem.

"Pheebs," Helga said quietly, "It's okay since I still need to pick Miriam up."

"Helga said it's fine but nothing from the both of you all right?" Phoebe said forcefully which made Gerald only realize the severity of the situation.

"Okay I can respect that," Gerald responded, "So we pick her up at the bus depot but where did she need to go?"

"Hillside Police Department" Phoebe answered causing not only Arnold and Gerald to gasp with confused looks but Arnold's parents had overheard. It was then decided that as responsible parents they would follow behind Phoebe who had insisted that her car would not be big enough for everyone despite her car being an SUV that could hold 6 people.

Helga sat at the bench shivering a bit. She had forgotten that spring nights were still chilly. She looked up at the clock seeing the second hand tick away. Miriam had been found early this morning wandering the neighborhood. It seemed that she had returned to their family home and was upsetting the new tenants. Even if that home did not harbor many good memories it was a form of security that had been ripped out of Miriam's and Helga's hands.

Being in the drunk tank all day meant that Miriam would be sobered up enough to make it on the ride home back to her apartment. At Helga's urging Miriam had sold the home and because there had been no mortgage the money was used to set up Miriam in an apartment. At the young age of 13 Helga had taken over the money. She had forced Miriam to let her take control. She had calculated how long the money would last and how much allowance she'd have to give Miriam.

Having a strong hand on the finances did not stop Miriam. Miriam had taken to working the bars for free drinks and one-night stands if needed. Helga had to work keeping Miriam's apartment clean into her already tight schedule. She made Miriam clean up most of the mess but Helga hated seeing the state of the apartment when Miriam was allowed free reign.

Helga looked up at the approaching SUV and felt her face blanch. There in the front seat was Gerald and in the back seat her heart began to palpitate. Why had Arnold tagged along? She looked behind the SUV and noticed the station wagon. It was Stella and Miles. Why did they all tag along? Her rather private family issue was going to be spread wide open to Phoebe's boyfriend, who no doubt would be making some long, annoying commentary as well as Arnold and his parents.

"What the hay?" Helga could feel her panic rising to epic proportions.


	3. Being purposefully obtuse but that's about to change

Helga stared at the approaching vehicles. When she had told Phoebe it was okay to let them know where she was going she had not expected a brigade. Helga could understand Gerald given their complicated relationship of boyfriend-girlfriend-not-yet-official-but-sort-of but for Arnold and his parents to come along was a surprise.

She continued to shiver as Phoebe's SUV approached. As soon as the car was in park Arnold jumped out of the car and began to barrage her with questions. What's going on? Why did you decide to go downtown alone? Why do you have to the police department? Did something happen to your family? Is it serious?

Helga let out a small smile seeing that Arnold was ever still the same person who worried about others even those he had not particularly liked. Helga took a large breath to calm herself and thought about the questions. She'd answer the questions as truthfully as possible but as impersonally as well. She was not in an emotional state to be candid about her state of affairs.

"First question, I had some personal issues to take care of. Second question, it usually isn't a problem and it's not the first time. Third question, I'm referring back to the first question. Fourth question, it has to do with my mom," Helga said ticking off the questions with her fingers, "Fifth question, again it was my mom and it's been a recurring issue for years. Sixth and final question, to be honest I don't know. They didn't really give the same spiel like the previous times which means it might be more serious."

"You're being purposefully obtuse aren't you?" Arnold responded.

"Sorry," Helga frowned, looking away, "It isn't exactly easy to be so openly candid about family issues when that's pretty much all I've dealt with since I was a kid."

"Oh," Arnold stared at Helga, unsure of what else to say. He could hear the beeping of his parent's station wagon, "it looks like my parents are here."

"Criminy," Helga smirked staring back up to Arnold, "I guess niceness and overly-caring for people is a family trait."

"I guess so," Arnold said smiling shyly.

"I know I've said this before," Helga said quietly, "but really, being to find your parents again and having them be so great, it couldn't have happened to a better guy."

"Thanks, Helga," Arnold said surprised, "Wasn't expecting that from you to be honest."

"I'm not so heartless anymore," Helga huffed but the corner of her eyes crinkled meant she had been joking, "I know I was a terror before. I'm still bit of a terror honestly but I have a hard time with any vulnerability."

"Helga, it's okay to show your soft side from time to time," Arnold said.

"Not when it's used time and time against you," Helga responded once again looking away. It was apparent that Helga did not want to talk any more. Arnold gave Helga a reassuring squeeze on her shoulder. His parents approached Helga and asked nearly the same questions and in nearly the same order. This caused Helga to laugh out loud.

"Seriously though, Shortman," Helga said while chuckling, "it is a family trait."

It was decided that Phoebe and Gerald would be on their own. Gerald had to go because of a Saturday event with the student council. It was something about needing to improve cohesion among the group as well as working with class representatives of each class and having a workshop was the best way to go. Phoebe on the other hand did not have much time left for her curfew. The Heyerdahls were rather strict with Phoebe. Helga did not want her getting in trouble with her parents. The last thing Helga needed was to see Phoebe's parents have the discussion about their friendship.

Arnold's parents rode in the front seat while Helga and Arnold rode in the back seat. It was odd to have Arnold sit so close to her. It was also then that as Helga stared out to the passing landscape that she wondered about her childhood love. She always knew it was love. However she could not help but wonder at times if beyond that-her obsession was stemming from her latching onto everything that Arnold represented: kindness, love, compassion. Traits she desperately wanted and needed from her own family. Traits that she knew she had never seen modeled in her family and did not come so easily.

That had been the basis of her novel. She wanted to really dissect her love for Arnold. She wanted to know at what point had she fallen in love and at what point did it cross over to the crazy. Wouldn't the fact that her heart did not palpitate mean this true love had ended a long time ago? Was it possible that her heart and mind were giving her the room to really look into who Arnold was rather than what he represented? If presently she concentrated on getting to know Arnold after all this time and she fell in love with everything that made Arnold, all the warts and all then her love would have to be the real thing. After she stripped away the obsessiveness, the jealously, the ever consuming passion and demand than would a chance be feasible?

These were the thoughts that were plaguing her mind. In her novel she had ended with a conclusion that showed that while she had truly loved Arnold her own issues had warped that love into obsession and fear. She was afraid of rejection as a child and much to her chagrin she was still afraid. She was afraid as a child of shattering that image she had constructed of Arnold. She knew on some level that Arnold was more than the sum of positive traits she had latched onto but to accept that was frightening. It'd mean that the risk of Arnold and herself, if they had ever gotten together, ending up as another Miriam and Bob was there. This absolutely terrified Helga.

Helga bit her lip as she refused herself to cry. Her thoughts had moved onto Miriam. Given the tone of the police officer's voice she knew it was much more serious. How more serious could it be? Helga thought to herself. Helga had begun to worry about the possibilities. If it was serious enough then would it warrant a court appearance and what about all the fees and fines that would be incurred? Helga knew that Miriam's nest egg was dwindling because of the rent, utilities, food and the fines Miriam was charged with because of her brushes with the law.

Helga could feel herself begin to hyperventilate. She had already been working two part-time jobs in addition to going to high school. Even though there had been some money from the sell of the house Helga couldn't stop worrying. All of the money she had been saving was to be used on a stint in rehab at Hillside Community Services. Even with the sliding scale Helga would have to fork over the money to cover Miriam's stay. However if this time Miriam's brush of the law was serious enough that would mean all Helga's plans would be shot to hell. She'd already failed Miriam by enabling her behavior but Helga had naively believed Miriam's promises to change. She had barely been a teenager but Helga still couldn't shake the guilt.

"Helga," Arnold said shaking her slightly, "are you okay?"

Helga turned to face Arnold. Her eyes were starting to spill over with tears that she could barely contain anymore. She bit her lip harder. She did not want to cry in front of the Shortman family. She did not want to worry them about her problems. It was bad enough that Phoebe had to deal with the fall out of Helga's family. She did not want to have other people suffer.

"Paper bag," Helga said with a shaky voice.

Arnold handed her a plastic bag. It would have to do. Helga took several deep breaths the plastic bag filling and refilling. The car had been silent except for the crinkling of the plastic. Helga could see the concerned looks of Arnold's parents.

Helga turned back the concrete jungle as they continued. They would arrive shortly at the police department. She would have no choice but to lay her problems onto the Shortman's feet. She hated knowing that they were going to be saddled with her problems.

"Helga, dear," Stella said in a soothing voice, "we're about 5 minutes away from the police department. Are you alright? Do you want Miles and I to go with you?"

Helga eyes locked onto Stella's. Stella was giving up some of the nicest and comforting vibes Helga had ever come across an adult. She was unsure as to why Stella was being so nice.

"Yeah," Helga nodded slightly, "I guess."

Helga had concluded that they were going to be dealing with Miriam anyways seeing as they were going to have to take Helga and Miriam home. She might as well let her possible new additions to her support group grow. She had to be honest with herself and admit that she needed it.

The station wagon pulled into a spot near the entrance. Helga took a long fortifying breath. The walk to the front door was tedious and Helga couldn't stop herself from fidgeting. All she knew was that her stomach was contracting so strongly she was going to lose her dinner in no time.

The three walked into the police department and Helga only hoped that it was not going to be serious though she half-expected to be proven wrong. Since her childhood she had known not to stock too much faith in hope.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been doing some research about Miriam. I recently watched a clip where Miriam was to do community service at the animal shelter. Because this was in the cartoon I'm deciding that Miriam's brushes with the law is canon.
> 
> I'm also going to delve into Helga's health issues. Because of one scene in the cartoon where Miriam mentions constipation medicine and having it mentioned that Helga has a GI disorder I'm going to conclude that it was the result of psychological issues. She's dealt with neglect, an alcoholic mom (whose driving I believe if I remember correctly was definitely not the safest), and a dad whose anger most likely led to emotional abuse although not sure about physical abuse.
> 
> I'm also going to confront the whole Helga x Arnold shipping. Her love for Arnold was there but it was definitely warped by her obsession and need to latch onto something she was so desperately craving. Her novel and this story is going to dissect this. I'm thinking of Helga writing a second book a sort of memoir where she catalogs this and possibly admits that her first novel was loosely based on her love/obsession over Arnold.
> 
> Plus since it's been shown that it's canon I want to see how the two can work out together when Helga has so many issues to deal with. However I don't think that simply because they wouldn't work at 9 years old it doesn't mean they can't work out. It's disregarding the growth and fluidity of personalities of people as they grow and mature.
> 
> Please read and review and see you in chapter 4. Also I want to say I'm not sure if I am going to keep posting at this rate but I am going to try at a schedule of at least a chapter a week or every two weeks. This could continue until the end of September but with an externship, a part time job and possibly adding another part-time job the updates will be reduced. Thanks for reading. :)
> 
> Thank you for the kudos and please review!


	4. Everything comes to a head

Helga entered the police department. Some of the officers looked up only to shake their head. She had become a familiar face. In the past one police officer in particular threatened Miriam with a call to Child Protective Services. Helga had to explain that while legally she was under the custody of Robert Pataki she was boarding at Hillside Academy. There had never been any arrangement that barred Miriam and Helga contacting each other.

Naturally Officer Polinski did not believe Helga. That meant that Helga would have to take a trip down south to visit Bob. She did not look forward to that at all. Olga and Helga had essentially cut Bob out of their life. Helga was the only one who was legally tied to him in some way.

Helga still remembered Dot answering the door with a big smile. Helga smiled and hugged her step mom. She couldn't help but like Dot. Dot was a good woman. A good woman who got caught up in Bob's charm and scam. Dot had not known Bob was married until he had presented her with an engagement ring and divorce papers for Miriam.

Dot had gotten angry over Bob lying to her about his marital status. Because Bob and Miriam had long since been separated and were living in different cities and counties it was easily covered up. Bob then had said his side of the story essentially playing the victim and tugging on Dot's heartstrings.

A precocious toddler waddled her way to Helga's stepmom's legs. Auberta, Aubie for short, made grasping movements with her hands indicating she wanted up in Helga's arms. Surprisingly, Helga's half-sister and half-brother Hugh, no doubt outside wreaking havoc in the petunias, loved Helga.

Helga held Aubie in her arms. Dot ushered them into the spacious colonial home that had been remodeled with the latest modern amenities. They entered the kitchen where Helga accepted the glass of milk and cookie which she shared in secret with Aubie. Helga and Dot gave each other a knowing smile and a wink since Aubie loved the idea of sharing a cookie in secret.

"What brings you here?" Dot asked knowing Helga would not drop by unannounced unless with good reason.

"Miriam," Helga said quietly looking away, "I have some stuff I need to clear up."

"Oh hunny," Dot said rubbing Helga's upper arm as motherly as possible, "Bob's gonna be home any minute."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Helga said staring at her feet a frown marring her features, "you know Bob and I are not on good terms."

Helga's belief that they were not on good terms was hardly an apt description. They were arguing fiercely about Miriam. Bob had begun to disparage Miriam again and Helga had grown disgusted with Bob. She began to insult Bob and lay at his feet all his issues and the fact that he had torn Miriam down. She had angrily pointed out that there was nothing in the custody hearings and verdict that banned Helga from seeing Miriam. The fact that her 18th birthday was fast approaching meant that soon he'd have no legal claim over Helga.

Bob had then changed tactics. He threatened that he'd not let Helga see her half-siblings. Helga growled back that it was up to Dot and if he continued she'd likely divorce his pathetic ass. The argument had grown more loud and aggressive.

Then it happened. Helga stood there stunned as her face stung horribly. Her mouth was soon overwhelmed with a copper taste. All of the past anger and resentment boiled over and in a rather eerily calm voice and threatened to call the police if Bob did not comply.

Bob had much to lose if Helga called the police. Most of his newly acquired wealth was from Dot's side of the family. He might have helped that money grow tenfold but he couldn't forget whose family she was from. Dot's family were basically old money and while they might have frowned upon their marriage they had never cut ties. Dot's family had essentially threatened that if Dot were to be placed in any sort of harm Bob would be out on the streets in no time.

"All right whatever," Bob said with a sneer, "I will do whatever the hell you want. Once you turn 18 you're out of my hair for good."

"Looks like I don't need to call the police," Helga said angrily.

"No, you might not need to," Dot said as she entered the room, "but I did."

The tumultuous relationship between father and daughter had long since been festering. When Bob had divorced Miriam he had essentially divorced Helga and Olga as well. Olga by moving to the city and continuing her studies and Helga by living in a dorm. However it was apparent that Bob wanted nothing to do with his former family. He had cut all ties, including any responsibility, with the girls and Miriam. He did not care about what happened to them. The only requirement was that they not get arrested or worse because he didn't want such embarrassment in his family. Bob had never been a particularly affectionate parent. It could even be concluded that while he was a blowhard he was also abusive. He was not particularly violent save the one time Dot called the police but he was abusive all in his own way.

He'd been mean to Miriam and Helga. They represented everything he hated. Miriam for her problems and weak-willed spirit. Helga because she did not obtain the smarts like her sister Olga. However if pressed Olga too would disclose how demanding and mean Bob would be. She might have been naturally good at many things but this only made Bob that much more aggressive demanding that she do better. Helga and Olga had shared a secret with each other when the divorce happened, they both had suffered at the hand of Bob.

It had been cathartic for Helga and Olga to talk about their issues because they both suffered in their own way. Helga because of the neglect, and cruel words and Olga because of being pushed to being perfect and the harsh words if she fell short which Bob felt was his job to point out each imperfection. Aside from Olga and Helga being able to connect on one level they disagreed about Miriam. Olga wanted to and eventually cut ties completely with both parents. Helga on the other hand wanted to believe Miriam could be better. Helga still remembered the good times and if pressed had to admit that Miriam's drinking was a lot easier to deal with than Bob's anger.

It had been several years since Olga and Helga talked. It was saddening for Helga to realize that she was closer to her half-siblings, who were now in a different state because of Dot not wanting to be married to someone like Bob, than her own sister. Helga's thoughts were interrupted when she was called up to the desk.

It was much worse than Helga had feared. It was so bad that she thought she was going to have a nervous breakdown right then and there. Miriam's charges were severe. According to the police report she had stolen a neighbor's car because she had to see Olga. Another night of drinking had left Miriam in a sorry state.

The worst of it was yet to come. Miriam had not only stolen a car but in the process of driving under the influence she had caused damage to several properties including several mailboxes, the side of several cars, and the most painful of all, a restaurant front and injuring a waiter who had been closing up for the night. The charges seemed to be a mile long. It also meant that Miriam would be going to jail awaiting a hearing. Helga did not even want to contemplate what the bail amount would be.

Miriam's previous criminal record would obviously come to play. Helga bit her lip as a wave of guilt washed over her. If she had only forced Miriam into a rehab program sooner. If only she had forced Miriam to attend A.A. meetings. If only she had helped Miriam stay on the anti-depressants. There were so many things Helga wished she could have done for Miriam.

After it was all said and done Helga sat at a bench and stared at the stained linoleum floor. She was waiting to learn when Miriam was going to be sent to the county jail and which one in particular. Helga knew they would not have processed her and it would take at least a couple of days. She still did not want to believe what was happening was actually happening.

Stella and Miles and sat on each side of Helga. Miles sat there giving Stella the support in soothing Helga. Stella slowly moved nearer to Helga offering soft words of sympathy and support. Stella moved to give Helga a hug. Feeling that kind of human contact had jolted Helga out of her thoughts. She jumped up and away from Stella with a frown. If she were a cat, the hairs of back would have been standing on end.

"Don't touch me!" Helga said defensively and back away as Stella approached her slowly.

Hugs were foreign to Helga and usually meant that something bad had happened or that someone was trying to coax her into forgiving them until they disappointed her again. Stella wrapped her arms around Helga who began to fight against her. Helga did not want to be pitied. Helga did not want insincere gestures of people who at the end of the day did not care for her.

The next thing Helga noticed was the stunned face of Stella lying on her rump on the floor and a scowling Miles. The panic welled up inside Helga as shame and guilt filled her up so much that she could feel the bile in her throat. She clamped her hands over her mouth and ran to the bathroom ignoring a shout from Miles.

Not caring to shut the bathroom door, Helga emptied her dinner into the toilet. She continued to retch until all that was left was mucous and bile. Her body could not stop contracting. The acidity of her stomach acid was making it difficult for Helga to breathe. Helga shakily wiped her mouth with the toilet paper and flushed its contents.

"Hey kid," Miles said behind her, "You know what you did was not cool right?"

Helga closed her eyes and began to berate herself. Again she had made Arnold's parents angry. They'd hate her for sure. This time for good. Good people who were kind, caring, and compassionate and Helga had treated them horribly. It was too much. With Miriam, Bob and Olga, the half-siblings she'd likely not see again, to the way she treated the Shortmans the only sound that could escape from Helga's mouth was hyperventilating sob. The next she felt was a strong hug from Miles and the soft words of Stella next to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So about Bob and his being a totally horrible person. I actually took from real life. My grandfather was abusive and a jerk. He had forced my grandmother to essentially throw out her education in secretarial work. My grandmother in many ways was like Miriam in that she was a housewife who was unable to live an independent life. In the cartoon Miriam had talked about her life before Bob. She was in a rodeo, an Olympic swimmer etc. She was skilled and able to do so much. Bob took that away from her. Back to my grandmother, my grandfather was completely underhanded. He had my grandmother and mother to the United States (from Costa Rica) with the claim that he would move up soon to be with them. He then went to the courts and claimed that they had abandoned him. I believe there was some sexist, and misogynistic bull there and he essentially got everything. He then cut them out completely to be with his mistress. That said, I decided to make Bob the kind of guy who would do that.
> 
> I'm going to take bit of a break while I research the RCWs and WACs for Washington State and see what kind of penalties Miriam is going to be facing especially with the restitution that will be addressed by the courts. Additionally I'm going to be doing a bit more research about Helga and her issues.
> 
> I also did not want to make Helga and her stepmother a toxic relationship. I wanted the two to understand that through no fault of their own did all of this happen. The real person at fault was Bob. Helga knew this already and Dot would come to learn this. I also wanted Bob to suffer repercussions for his behavior. I might have him return but to be honest I'm not fond of him as a character (slight trigger to be honest) and at this point and time he's the last person the rest of the Patakis need in their life.
> 
> Also I didn't realize the pun of the chapter's name after I wrote it :)


	5. "Love, of course"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't help writing a chapter while researching about Miriam and what laws she was breaking. Going to then research what would happen at a court proceeding. Not very confident but going to do my best. Also the documentary is real. I suggest going to vivianmaier * com and vivianmaier blogspot * com. She is an incredible street photographer. Please read, review, and leave kudos! Thank you so much!

**Helga's Favorite Flavor of Ice Cream - Chapter 5 - "Love, of course"**

After what seemed like a lifetime Helga had exhausted all of her tears. She could feel Miles and Stella give soft words of encouragement and soothing words. It was the kind of words that most parents would give to their children. All Helga had known had been slurred words of nonsensical dribble, admonishments of why she couldn't have been more like Olga, and anger. Helga began to fidget again as a panic began to rise in her chest. It wasn't that the affection wasn't lovely it was only that Helga could literally count the number of times she'd been hug on two hands and even then that was pushing it.

"Sorry," Helga said quietly, "for pushing you. I'm not, well, I'm not used to that sort of stuff."

"We forgive you Helga," Stella said nuzzling Helga's temple which made Helga let out a giggle as she attempted to move her head away from Stella's nose.

"Thanks," Helga said biting her lower lip, "for everything."

Miles had rubbed Helga's back the entire time shooting worried glances to Stella. Their silent looks conveyed the same worry and how they could help Helga. Miles briefly glanced at his watch which Helga had noticed at the corner of her eye. Again she felt panic rise in her chest. Helga worried about how Arnold's parents were wasting time with her when they had their own lives to worry about. Having come back from the States barely a couple of days prior meant they were most likely suffering from jet lag.

Miles and Stella yelped in surprise as Helga jumped up moving back as far as she could stopping at the wall near the sink and slipping down tired, exhausted and feeling guilty. They immediately stood up. Helga held both hands and began to apologize.

"I am so sorry," Helga started, "I should have realized that you guys would be exhausted from your long flight. I shouldn't have allowed you to console me especially with how late it is."

Miles frowned and knelt in front of Helga. He couldn't help but wonder what sort of life Arnold's friend had throughout the years to respond this way. Memories of the summer that they were found by Arnold made him realize that there had been much more to this girl. He couldn't fathom what all had happened to Helga but he couldn't stand on the bylines and not do something.

He met Stella's eyes who conveyed the same message. Miles smirked slightly as he had always loved this part of Stella, the ever compassionate and loving woman he had married so long ago. Miles finally made a point to lock eyes with Helga.

"Helga, dear," Miles started softly, "it's no problem at all. I was checking the time to see if I could call Dad and mom and let them know that we'd be home shortly."

"Oh," Helga nodded feeling very ashamed for her actions, hating how she was showing her vulnerabilities to Arnold's parents, began to nervously rub the upper part of her arm "Okay, well, make your call and you can drop me off at my dorm. I don't think I'm going to get a response any how about my mom."

"About that," Stella said.

The next morning Helga sat up suddenly having forgotten where she had spent the night. A little worry settled in as she tried to remember how she had gotten to sleep in this room. She looked around and paled slightly. It was Arnold's room. "What they hay?" Helga said to herself. As the world of dreams was merely a vestige did clarity finally worm its way to the forefront.

Helga stretched and readied herself for the confrontation with the Shortman family. She tidied up the bed as nicely as she could. If she had time she would have dusted and cleaned the place and felt discomfited that she could repay them somehow especially since she did not have the funds to do so.

As Helga went to the bathroom she started to calculate the charges of staying here for the night. Figuring that the monthly rate would be around five hundred and fifty dollars then the average cost per night would be rounded to around nineteen dollars. That is unless they had different prices for "weekenders" which meant it could be anywhere from fifty-five to seventy-five dollars. She hoped they'd take the twenty and promise to work to pay off the cost of staying the night.

She splashed the cold water on her face. The shower was a needed blessing as she worked the hot water into tense shoulders. She dried herself and dressed quickly not liking the chill in the air. She found a new brush inked with her name. Helga narrowed her eyes briefly in confusion and amusement. Brushing her teeth she grinned and clenched her teeth inspecting the cleanliness of her teeth. "Teeth only come in one set," Helga thought to herself, "clearly evolution has failed me."

As she walked downstairs she smelled the lovely smells of a homemade breakfast. Her stomach grumbled and she walked into the kitchen not sure what to expect. She entered the kitchen and nearly giggled herself silly at the sight in front of her.

"What's so funny?" Arnold asked as he placed some fried plantains onto his plate next to fried eggs.

"Oh sorry," Helga said smirking, "You guys with your dad sitting there with his cup of coffee and mom sitting next to him both reading the newspaper and you across from your mom… I never realized that Norman Rockwell paintings actually existed in real life."

"Helga," Arnold sighed as he rolled his eyes.

"Hey I didn't mean anything by it," Helga said, "It's just rare you know? Besides I like Norman Rockwell as a 20th century American artist for his realism of Americana as much as I love George Luks or George Bellows who while were from the same era captured a totally different aspect of American life."

"Well then, who do you think captures you?"

"It's not a painter but street photographer Vivian Maier for sure."

"Who's she?" Arnold asked as he began to eat.

"She's this nanny who was extremely private who was also a street photographer from the 50's to 90's who captured shots and moments in all walks of life. She captured the gritty, chaotic mess of society that most people gloss over," Helga said as she sat upon a kitchen counter, swinging her feet, "In a lot of ways I appreciate that she captures life that most of us have faced and I feel like I have a kindred spirit in her passion and love for art rather than to become famous."

"Oh," Arnold smiled appreciating Helga's insight, "You seem to know a lot about art."

"I only dabble in visual arts to be honest," Helga shrugged, "I've been reading art books since I was like 5. Plus the documentary "Finding Vivian Maier" was shown at a movie festival."

"That's neat," Arnold smiled, "Helga do you want to join us all for breakfast?"

Maria who had been cleaning up the kitchen turned around with a pot of coffee in her hand. She was wearing a lovely white cotton dress, and flats with eyelet fabric in light blue and a cute bow on the front of the shoe. She reminded Helga of Lila but much more depth than Lila and no doubt a great deal more in common with Arnold. Maria sat next to Arnold and they made such a lovely picture together.

Helga smiled and felt at odds. She was no longer the crazed, jealous Helga of her childhood. She didn't feel her heart palpitate as strongly nor did she have this intense urge to sabotage Maria because she was sitting closely to Arnold. Yet there had been yet a small ache, a longing and disappointment. She was disappointed in herself for her behavior growing up and being such a coward. It was one of those moments that many people face when they wonder about the 'what ifs' of a situation. It was a very tiresome path to be on because as she remembered from Doctor Who there were millions of parallel universes that were created from the smallest of decisions. Who could possibly know where her confession would have ended up?

Helga continued to sit on the counter not wanting to sit at the dining table. She was not a part of their family or world. She couldn't really see herself sitting next to Stella. Plus she rarely ate at the dinner table unless it was demanded by her family. Even then it was quite honestly rare as her parents sometimes forgot to set her table and Helga never really cared to push the issue.

"Nah football-head, not really a breakfast person" Helga smiled, "and I never really did the whole family-sitting-together-at-meals save maybe Sunday night? Maybe a couple times a week at most. Bob worked a lot and Miriam, well, Miriam was Miriam."

"You should eat something," Maria joined in, "Perhaps if you are more comfortable you can grab a plate of a food and eat where you are comfortable."

"I guess that works," Helga said not really appreciating her joining in the conversation but figuring that if Arnold and Maria were close then they were close enough to converse together as a unit. Helga knew that her slight annoyance was that she wanted to have that one day. Even if she knew it'd never be with Arnold.

Helga grabbed a plate and took two slices of plantains, a spoon of black beans of rice and a spoon of sour cream. She didn't want to overextend her stay by being "that" guest, the one who was obnoxious, completely disregarding manners and the needs around them. She smiled as she sat back up unto a counter and began to eat. She frowned at Arnold's staring.

"What's eating you, hair boy?" Helga asked.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Arnold asked slightly concerned.

"I've never been much of an eater," Helga said, "plus like I said I'm not a breakfast person. I didn't want to be rude to Maria who took time to prepare such an awesome breakfast. Besides it's really good and I don't like to pass up good food when I don't have to."

Arnold turned to Maria and smiled. The family and Maria continued to eat. Helga watched them interact with each other. They were really a lovely family and she was happy that Arnold had been able to bond with his parents. Helga was also happy that Arnold had found someone who had all the traits he admired, and a background that they could share upon. The fact that she was gorgeous with her caramel skin, long black hair that styled in a horizontal French braid that ended up in a plush bun, and expressive chocolate eyes was an added bonus for Arnold.

Helga jumped off the counter and washed her dishes. The rest of the boarders trickled in slowly to eat their breakfast and offer their compliments to the chef. Then each would wander off to go on with their daily lives. Grandpa Phil and Grandma Gertie came in both looking extremely well rested as if able to sleep in for the first time in a long while. When they had finished their breakfast Helga helped clean up the kitchen.

"Phil," Helga said quietly capturing the attention of Arnold's grandpa, "Mind we talk in private for a moment?"

"Sure thing," Phil said following her, "you're that girl that jumped rope in front of the house aren't you?"

"Er, yeah that's me," Helga said with an embarrassed chuckle and when they had reached the living room Helga turned around, "you probably know that I stayed the night."

"I thought so," Phil nodded sagely, "otherwise it'd be weird for you to stal—show up so early."

"Right," Helga said smirking, "well I want to pay you for letting me stay the night. I hope twenty bucks will cover it."

"Ah, well, now see here, you don't have to" Phil said but noticed the determined look in her eyes, and continued with a sigh, "twenty buckaroos is fine."

"Oh good," Helga smiled with great relief, "I was afraid you'd charge me a 'weekenders' rate like sixty bucks or something."

"Sixty bucks for this place?" Phil said shaking his head, "I don't think 'weekenders' would want to pay sixty bucks to stay here."

"Unless they're yuppies who want to rough it within city limits," Helga laughed out loud, "where they will come across children playing with fire hydrants, the more-than-occasional siren, brownstones with more than one tenant, and the empty lots that function as a makeshift playground."

"Not a bad idea," Phil said smiling.

"Yeah your slogan could be," Helga said as she moved her left hand in an arch, "Rough it in the concrete jungles of Hillside where we don't have a Starbucks on every corner."

"What about concrete jungles and Starbucks?" Arnold said interrupting their conversation.

"My new plan to attract yuppies," Phil said seriously, "and earn more money."

"What?" Arnold said looking from Helga and Phil, "Really?"

"No football-head, it was a joke," Helga smiled, "Well it's been fun talking to you Phil but I have to head back to my dorm. My RA is not going to be happy that I forgot to call and let her know what was going on."

Suddenly Grandma Gertie bursted in with her explorer's hat on, a net in one hand and a fly swatter in one hand. She immediately handed Helga her own hat, and the fly swatter. Helga then recalled earlier that morning how Gertie had told her—Trudy that they had little time before the monsoons came. They still had to capture the ever elusive morpho butterfly. A beautiful gem blue butterfly whose capture then release meant good luck. Helga remembered she agreed figuring Gertie would forget about the madcap adventure. Apparently Gertie had not forgotten.

"Madame Trosseau," Helga/Trudy said seriously and earnestly, "what is the ETA for the monsoon?"

"That's the spirit Trudy," Gertie aka Madame Trousseau exclaimed, "I always knew I saw an adventurous spirit in you. You have such passion! Your insight and intelligence will help me finally capture the Morpho butterfly!"

Madame Trousseau stuck her entire finger into her mouth causing Arnold and Phil to flinch. Trudy only nodded accepting Madame Trousseau's method of weather prediction. Madame Trousseau held it up in the air dramatically and began to chant,

"Oh great winds of the North let your knowledge be brought forth!  
Oh great winds of the East may your wisdom be released!  
Oh great winds of the West, may this excursion be blessed!  
Oh great winds of the South convey this with your mouth!  
Oh great winds, hear my plea, hear my cry  
Let me find the Morpho butterfly!"

When all was said and done, Helga approved of Gertie's skill for the spoken word. She wondered if she had found in Gertie a kindred spirit in her love and ability of writing poetry. She couldn't help but smile at Gertie's energy. She didn't mind being referred to by another name. She did wonder who Trudy was. Gertie swayed to and fro then suddenly stopped.

"One hour?!" Madame Trousseau exclaimed in a worried voice, "We have one hour Trudy to find the butterfly!"

"There's no time to waste!" Trudy said matching Madame Trousseau's worry and excitement, "We have to start our exploration immediately."

"Call me Tressie," Madame Trousseau said softly, "You've earned it."

As Gertie bounded down the hall, Helga let out a soft laugh. She could see the confusion in Arnold's face. Then she looked into Phil's face and saw a look of appreciation and thanks.

"Well the bus can wait," Helga said.

"Thank you for going along with Pookie," Phil smiled, "it's not often someone joins in the way you did."

"It's no problem," Helga smiled "it beats being cooped up in a dorm all day."

The exploration started with Madame Trousseau scouting the small patch of earth between the buildings. Trudy had brought the map and the two had discussed the likeliest of places that the butterfly would be residing. Trudy nodded as if contemplating the map then pointed to one small area.

"Why do you think it's there," Madame Trousseau asked Trudy.

"It's the most dangerous path, Tressie," Trudy said sagely, "all great adventures have the most perilous of paths. It's what makes the reward so rewarding."

"I knew there was a reason why I liked you!" Madame Trousseau said as the moved forward.

"That gives us about forty-five minutes to make this trek," Trudy shouted, "I figure it's a thirty minute hike."

"Then let's high tail it and make it in twenty five minutes!" Madame Trousseau responded.

"It's a good thing I remembered to bring this! You finally gave me the responsibility and I didn't fail you!" Trudy held up her a jaguar deterrent device triumphantly, "This will protect us from the jaguars!"

Madame Trousseau and Trudy banged on the drums that were a present from her very dear husband Sir Phil of Hillside. Madame Trousseau had made it a point to tell Trudy that her drum had been made by her very sweet grandson Arnold of Sunset Arms. Trudy nodded but asked why would he have had done such a thing? Madame Trousseau smiled and answered the way one only could, "Love, of course."


	6. Trudy and Tressie's Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review and leave kudos. Thank you for taking the time to read. :)

**Chapter 6: Trudy's and Tressie's wish**

They climbed up a treacherous mountainside. The few pebbles that rolled down the side was an eerie reminder to Trudy that she had to be careful otherwise they could end at the bottom with a broken arm or leg or worse. Trudy took a deep breath calming herself as she scaled the mountain. Trudy, being a rather good climber, helped Tressie climb up. After finally reaching the summit they purveyed the entire of the jungle. Tressie squinted and pointed.

"That's our camp," Tressie said in awe, "It looks so far away. I imagine this is what giants see when they look down on us humans."

"Well," Trudy replied, "I'd like to avoid them. Even if they're not living in this area doesn't mean we shouldn't tread carefully."

"I hear ya!" Tressie shouted then quieted at Trudy's "shhhh."

They continued as the mist thickened. The monsoon was fast approaching. It was sending a reminder that it was going to be upon them soon making their trek impossible. Trudy felt a drop on her cheek.

"We need to hurry," Trudy said as they walked through the jungle avoiding fallen logs in case they were large snakes, "We could take the short cut."

"Explorers always take the short cut," Tressie said happily, "I knew there was a reason why I liked you."

They continued onward and walked through the dense jungle. Trudy cut through the heavy vines and shrubbery. She was careful to use her heavy duty gloves as she did not want to get pricked. The last thing she wanted was for her to lose her control. She had no desire to tell Tressie about her tumultuous relationship with Arnold of Sunset Arms. Trudy did not want to dash Tressie's somewhat apparent belief that Arnold had some sort of warm feeling about her.

They were only a few miles from their destination. They had already been dealing with the rain. As they came closer and closer the rains became heavier and heavier. The monsoon was finally upon them in full force. Trudy forced Tressie to stand under the makeshift tent made of a heavy duty blue tarp. She did not want her mentor to become ill while on this expedition. What they had hoped would be a twenty-five minute trek, or even thirty minutes even forty-five minute trek turned out to be nearly an hour and a half.

Trudy shuddered violently as she approached the butterfly quietly. She closed her eyes allowing a wish to come to mind. She wanted this butterfly for her mentor, Madame Trousseau. Her mentor had the better part of a decade wanting, no needing, to capture and release this butterfly. She had no idea why as Madame Trousseau seemed to have everything –a loving husband, a very tender-hearted grandson, and recently the return of her long lost son and daughter-in-law. Whatever her wish was, Trudy wanted to make it happen.

The butterfly flitted about under the overhanging of a large rock. It seemed to be calm almost waiting Trudy thought. Her mind was filled with a fantastical story where the butterfly was waiting for Tressie and Trudy to find it because their heart was in the right place, because their hearts were pure. Trudy captured the butterfly in her jar and whispered quietly, "I'm only going to take you as far as our campsite. When the monsoon passes please I urge you fill the wish that resides in Tressie's heart."

By the time they made it to their camp Trudy was soaked through and through. She had made a point to make a makeshift poncho and veil for Tressie to wear so that she would not get sick or contract pneumonia. They waited for the monsoon to pass and squinted as rays of sun spottled the earth below kissing it with its warmth.

They did not hear the approach of Sir Phil of Hillside or Sir Arnold of Sunset Arms approach them. They quietly and cautiously walked to the pair who were talking quietly. Sir Phil had wanted to surprise his Pookie with a mug of hot chocolate, her absolute favorite. Sir Arnold had decided to tag along.

"The petrichor," Trudy said quietly as she took a deep breath, "that rises from the jungle is unlike anything I've ever smelled."

"Petri-what?" She heard Sir Arnold say behind her causing her to jump slightly completely startled.

"Petrichor, Sir Arnold of Sunset Arms, is a noun that means the smell of rain on dry earth." Helga said answering Arnold's unasked question, "Madame Trousseau and I were unfortunately caught up in the monsoon but fortunate to be granted such a magnificent smell."

Trudy smiled as she held up the drums giving them to Sir Phil thanking him for his gift to his wife. They had come tremendously helpful. Trudy turned and pointed to Sir Arnold who held his hands to chest silently asking "what?"

"Sir Arnold," Trudy smiled, "thank you for making mine. Madame Trousseau had told me what you had done. It was very thoughtful of you."

"It was nothing, Trudy," Sir Arnold smiled.

Sir Arnold and Trudy looked onward as Tressie told Sir Phil of her adventures. They shared a sweet smile that came from loving each other for years. Trudy smiled at seeing Tressie's exuberant and child-like response to the hot chocolate. The married couple shared the hot chocolate. Sir Arnold spoke up.

"What are you going to do with the morpho butterfly now that you've captured it?"

"The legend says that if you capture it then release it back to the jungle it will grant one wish," Trudy spoke of the legend.

"What are you going to wish for," Sir Arnold asked.

"Nothing," Trudy said looking back to Tressie, "I'm giving it to Madame Trousseau. She obviously still has some sort of wish left even after her son and daughter-in-law making it back from the land of the giants. I figure why not let her see it fulfilled. Though I suspect it's probably to walk in a large tub of cooked noodles."

"She's actually already done that," Sir Arnold laughed remembering the time his grandfather made a small swimming pool worth of noodles. His grandmother laughed and giggled as she walked through it. It was so much fun that everyone ended up taking a turn. Then came the noodle food fight. "Though truthfully you're probably not far off the mark."

The rains finally passed and it came time to release the morpho butterfly. Tressie and Trudy held the jar and opened it. The morpho butterfly flew out circling Trudy before it landed on her hand. Trudy smiled as she held up her hand, thinking, "It's time you grant Tressie's wish."

"Tressie," Trudy said, "it's time."

"My dear morpho butterfly  
as you soar through the sky  
through the inky blue above  
let my Arnold find his true love."

Tressie turned to Trudy and sighed. "Trudy, dear," Tressie said quietly, "it's your turn. We both deserve it."

Trudy nodded and felt this wave of emotion flow through her. She thought of Arnold and all the years she pined after him. All the years that he was the sun in her bleak, stormy existence. The boy who gave, and gave, and gave but rarely demanded anything in return. Tressie's wish was above all else what Trudy wished for as well.

"Funnily enough," Trudy said with a few tears forming in her eyes, "that's my same wish."

Everyone ended back into the kitchen to warm themselves up. Helga had urged that Gertie take a hot shower fast. Even though she managed to stay somewhat dry Helga did not want to take chances. She had lost someone dear to her when she was young where a simple cold turned into pneumonia.

She dried herself off with a large fluffy towel that had recently taken out of the dryer. She loved it when towels were warm first. It made her feel protected. She picked at her realizing that she was completely soaked through. The clothes looked out of the place in the kitchen with the sun shining though temporarily before becoming engulfed by storm clouds.

"Stella?" Helga called out quietly.

"Stella left to do some errands," Maria said entering the kitchen to prepare a late lunch, "did you need help?"

"My clothes, they're wet," Helga said hating how lame that sounded.

"You can borrow some of my clothes," Maria said warmly, "my room is at the end of the hall to the left."

Helga smiled and offered her thanks. She headed down the hall looking at the pictures that directed the wall. She passed the bathroom and shuddered at what she thought she heard was a moan. That was the last thing Helga wanted to hear, two old people getting it on, but she did secretly hope that she could be like that when she was old.

Helga turned the knob and entered Maria's room. She had not expected a near nude Arnold. Helga stared confusedly at the scene in front of her. Arnold was shirtless. He was tanned, toned and sported a six pack. He even had a small dusting of blonde hair in the middle of his chest. Arnold was also not wearing any pants. Helga now knew the answer to the ageless question, "boxers or briefs." Apparently neither has he sported a pair of boxer briefs.

Arnold turned around which gave Helga even more of a frontal view. Helga stood there shocked beyond belief. Her eyes went back up and down as if in disbelief. However she could not deny the rather large, well endowed, bulge that was Arnold's… Helga gulped. She stood there frozen. She could feel her face becoming feverish with embarrassment.

"Helga!" Arnold yelped, "Get out!"

Arnold stared at the shocked Helga. He smiled as he watched Helga turn around slowly. His eyes softened as he watched Helga hide her face because of her embarrassment. He put on a pair of shorts ending at his knees and on the front half were a grey plaid, the back half were a soft grey cotton sweat pant material with one pocket made of the grey plaid and a drawstring. He tightened and loosely knotted the pants. He normally wore it without a shirt but seeing Helga's reaction he opted to wear a simple, short-sleeved white tee shirt.

"Almost done Helga," Arnold said with a smile that grew to a chuckle at hearing Helga's gasp and whimper.

With his Adidas sandals on, he approached Helga from behind. Rather than tap her on the shoulder he moved past her and opened Stella's room, "Stella's room is across the hall."

Helga looked up and nodded her head. She nodded again as she felt a sinking sensation in her stomach. If that was Arnold's parent's room then that would mean that Arnold and Maria were sharing the room. Helga hated how much it was hurting her when it ought not to have.

"Er, no," Helga said quietly finally shaking her head again, snapping out of her thoughts, "Maria offered, um, to let me borrow some clothes."

"Oh," Arnold said smiling sheepishly, "Then Maria's room is behind you."

"All right," Helga nodded, "tell Maria thank you."

Helga watched Arnold walk down the hall. She knew that she had not given up Arnold as she had thought. Apparently it was easier to give someone up when they were distant. Yet right in front of her and Helga could feel the tendrils of love snake around her heart. She couldn't allow herself to go down that dark path again. Logically she knew that it would have never worked out. Not only because of her past, but also the fact that she had allowed her love to become so warped and obsessive. A love like that could never work out in the long run. She also feared his reaction if he knew, well, how crazy she had been.

A half-hour later and Helga began to feel more self-conscious. Maria had always gorgeous. If her family photographs on the dresser were any indication. She seemed to have been a pleasant child from the day she was born. She also had more curves. Helga smiled recalling all the girls Arnold liked in elementary school and they all seemed to have some curves. It should have been no shock that was Arnold's type.

It also made it much more difficult for Helga to find something to wear. Maria was more endowed than Helga and most tops were simply too loose, or draped too far down her chest. The one thing Helga managed to find was a black solid-y back workout bikini top. As for pants she was having a hell of a time finding anything. Helga couldn't find any pants whose drawstrings could be tightened enough so that they wouldn't slide down her hips, even the yoga pants were a no go.

Helga heard a knock at the door. It was a concerned Arnold. It seemed they were worried as to why Helga was taking such a long time. 'How can I say,' Helga thought, 'oh sorry but your clothes are too big. What if Maria is hurt by that?' She stared at the room around her wondering if she might have missed anything.

"What is it, football head?" Helga said frustrated. She had not intended to stand there absolutely naked in only a large towel.

Arnold swung open the door clearly annoyed at Helga's nickname. He had every intent to tell Helga that they weren't children and the nicknames were childish. What he had not expected was to see Helga only in a towel.

"Sorry," Helga said looking down at her toes, then fell to the floor in a flourish, "I can't find anything that fits."

"Wear a tee-shirt?" Arnold responded incredulously.

"She only has scoop necks and V-neck," Helga responded quietly.

"That's a problem, why?" Arnold asked becoming exasperated.

"They're too loose in the chest," Helga muttered embarrassed as she could feel herself grow pink.

"I can't hear you, Helga." Arnold sighed.

"They're too loose,"Helga said a bit more loudly.

"Helga, what the he— " Arnold began to ask when Helga immediately jumped up forgetting about the tenuous fold holding her towel up.

"I'm too fucking flat chested for her clothes," Helga growled up, tears were forming in her eyes, as her chest size was an area where she lacked confidence, "not only that because I'm an extra small so her tops droop too far down."

Helga wondered why Arnold's jaw had become slack. His eyes seemed to have glazed over. Helga could feel bit more of a chill. She slowly looked downward then let out a squeal of horror as she quickly retrieved the towel to cover herself. Perhaps this was punishment for her ogling, which she had to admit to herself that she was ogling, Arnold. Only Arnold had seen everything. He now knew that she preferred to being completely waxed down there.

Arnold stood up and handed Helga the bikini top.

"Here," Arnold said smiling softly, "put this on and I can let you borrow one of my hoodies."

"Thanks," Helga said looking back down at his sandals, biting her lower lip, "and do you know if she has any sort of spandex pants. They're all too big."

Arnold presented her with some tight, black jeggings that were hidden back in a corner of the closet she had not thought to check. Helga sniffled as she let out a choked thanks. Arnold smiled and grasped Helga's shoulder lightly letting her know it was no problem. Soon enough Helga was alone in the room. She wondered why Arnold was so collected despite seeing her naked. Perhaps he was so enamored with Maria that nothing else could compare?

Helga walked down the steps fully showered and clothed waiting to hear for any sort of commotion. Her heart beat had been racing since the incident. She was mortified. She was embarrassed. She also had to admit that she was a bit hurt at Arnold's lack of a reaction. Even a surprise screech would have been better than silence.

She could smell lunch from the foyer. Her stomach grumbled appreciatively. She bit her lip wondering if she was becoming more of a nuisance. Her fears were squashed when she was greeted by a warm hug by Gertie.

"The wish worked!" Gertie said smirking.

Helga looked to Arnold. Their eyes connected but he quickly looked away. Was he ashamed at seeing her accidentally naked? She then thought of Maria. Maybe he was feeling guilty of even being in a situation that something like this could happen. She'd wait it out to see if she'd have to offer her forgiveness, stress that it was an accident, and perhaps happily confirm that Arnold was so completely unaffected. If anything that would prove of his fidelity to her.

"It seems to have," Helga said in a tight voice, "Sir Arnold and Maria do look quite enamored with each other."

Gertie looked at Helga pensively. She nodded. Gertie had to respond the only way she knew how.

"Not all is what it seems," Madame Trousseau said, "you might be like the others who believe that Sir Arnold is in love. But not I! I see her for her true form. She's a bruja who wants to steal his innocence away for her immortality spell!"

Helga could only nod unsure as how to respond. The two entered the kitchen and greeted by a smiling and laughing Maria no doubt at some joke Arnold had said. Helga ate the soup quietly as she listened to Gertie and Arnold discuss loudly about her adventures. She had mentioned recently traveling the high seas and meeting a dashing young man at port. Helga immediately thought of she had heard as she passed the bathroom. Her mind fizzled at the thought and she began to cough violently. She waved off everyone's concern with a creaky I'm fine.

Her cell phone rang in the other room. Helga ran to pick it up but was too late. The police department had told her they'd give an update to what would happen to Miriam. She checked her voicemail, taking note that Miriam's bail hearing was going to be in a week's time. That meant that Miriam would be detoxing in the meantime if not longer if Helga couldn't make bail.

Helga only hoped that Miriam was not suffering too much from the withdrawal symptoms and that she was safe in jail. The thought of Miriam behind bars scared Helga. She was afraid for Miriam's immediate and distant future. Helga only hoped that she had the ability to aid Miriam in her recovery.


	7. Brave, Little Hamster

Helga unzipped her messenger bag to fish out a pen and a small 13 month calendar that pictures of kittens on the cover and in a small picture in the upper right corner. Helga wrote down the information onto a notepad found near the phone in the foyer of the boarding house. She frowned as she could feel another bout of anxiety worming its way from the pit of her stomach. Helga worried about the seriousness of Miriam's crimes especially since she had injured someone in the process. The restitution alone was going to be outrageous never mind the court fees.

The court hearing was set two weeks from Monday. She wrote it down on her calendar and was relieved that there were no big projects or tests on that day. Helga would have to contact her instructors as soon she was back on campus and hope they'd be understanding. She'd also have to see about getting her classmates to help with notes.

A glance at a clock showed that it was nearly 2 o'clock in the afternoon. She was expected in work at 6 to work a 3 hour shift at the campus library. Helga ran up the stairs wanting to catch the next bus as soon as possible. That would allow her some time to take another shower to wash off the tension that had been building up again.

Helga squatted on the floor redoing her hair. She parted part of her hair and did a braid from one side of her ear to the other leaving her bangs and rest of her hair down. She combed through hair having to move around her shoulders after they tensed from being held in the position too long. Helga spritzed on some perfume on her wrists and right below her ears and reapplied her deodorant/anti-perspirant.

She heard Phil and Gertie laughing and reminiscing about some baby photographs of Arnold. Helga smiled remembering the picture of a three-year old Arnold she had kept all those years. Growing up she had upgraded the paper heart it was stuck onto reapplying it onto a hot-pink heart made of cardstock. She had even applied lace to the edges. It was tucked away in a memory box. The memory box served as a reminder that the past happened, and while she might have been slightly embarrassed she knew she had grown from those experiences.

If anyone had known how girl Helga could be she was sure they'd be sputtering their shock and having a conniption. It seemed that when it came to Arnold this surge of femininity would come gushing forth. Evidence was the time she had dolled herself up such as when she pretended to be Cecile and when she had taken them to the French restaurant. Helga was sure that Arnold had forgotten all about it but for her it was always going to have a spot in her heart. However as time went on Helga began to confidently embrace her feminine side for no other reason than she wanting to embrace everything she was.

Helga entered the front room and smiled at Maria laughing at the stories and Arnold groaning in embarrassment. Gertie looked up from the photographs only to exclaim happily that Helga was to sit next to her. Helga bit her lip unsure what to do. It wasn't that she did not want to see the pictures, oh she did but that seemed like something left for family and close, intimate friends. Helga believed herself to be neither.

"Er, I have to be at work at six tonight," Helga said as she moved back into the foyer, "I still have to get back and get ready."

"Nonsense," Gertie frowned, "I can drive you and have you back home in a jiffy! You're going to miss the bath shots!"

"No way," Arnold exclaimed, "I don't want Helga seeing them!"

Helga stared at Arnold and his use at her name only. She supposed that was only natural. "He probably worries that I'm going to use it against him," Helga thought. Maybe it was something he only wanted someone like Maria to see?

"Football head made it clear that he doesn't want me to see, afraid of the blackmail I'd do no doubt," Helga smirked, "besides that stuff is for family and intimate friends, and neither of which I fit."

"Helga, I didn't say that," Arnold retorted.

"No but I am," Helga said shrugging, "Arnold, it's fine, I'm just saying what's true."

"You are a good friend," Arnold let out a frustrated sigh.

"I'm not saying I'm not Arnoldo," Helga let out a huff of a laugh who air quoted 'intimate friends' and with a pointed nod to Maria, "You know exactly what I meant by intimate friends."

Arnold blushed at Helga's insinuation. Helga narrowed her eyes in confusion. She widened her eyes at Arnold's continued discomfort. "So Maria doesn't know?" Helga thought to herself.

"Hm," Helga broke the momentary silence, "gonna cut through the awkward and make my exit. I'll see you guys when I see you. Thanks for everything."

With a wave and a goodbye Helga was out the door. Helga walked to her bus stop and was almost thankful that Arnold didn't follow. She didn't want the Spanish Inquisition over what she said in the foyer. Though she knew Arnold would not let it go. Knowing this Helga texted Phoebe giving her the full details along with she tell Helga what Arnold said, and guessing what he was planning on doing. Helga wanted some time to prepare for Arnold's questions.

While on the bus Helga received a text from an unknown phone number. She read and rolled her eyes. It seemed that soon as she left Arnold had badgered Phoebe for her cell phone number.

Had to be Arnold: Why the hell would you say that?

Helga, who didn't feel like she said anything particularly wrong or worth commenting on: Sorry I think you have the wrong number

Soon to be confirmed Arnold: It's Arnold. Why would you say that stuff?

Helga whose mood was being tested: Listen bucko you know what I said was true. That stuff is meant for families and for a girlfriend or soon-to-be girlfriend in your case? How could I have known you hadn't popped the question yet?

Arnold: I was getting there Helga.

Helga: Then I helped it along. Shouldn't there be a thanks somewhere in those texts? Besides you also said that to me specifically so I decided to not embarrass you.

Arnold: Thank you *sighs*

Helga: All right then glad that's taken care of. But seriously though it's fine. I just made a conclusion since you two were bedding in the same room. You gotta admit that's an easy mistake to make.

Arnold: We just have the stuff in the same room…We're not sleeping together not in the same room and not, in the, uh,… Other sense

Helga who knew when was Arnold's birthday and smiled literally reading the blush that was covering his entire face: Well yeah that's statutory rape. You turn 18 in what a few short weeks?

Arnold: Yeah

Helga: So I take it your birthday wish is Maria popping your cherry ;)

Arnold: . . . how did we go from my not pursuing Maria yet to you asking about popping my cherry?

Helga: Amazing conversation diversion tactics that I seem to have? Lack of tact?

Arnold: Apparently :) Helga listen I am sorry if I insinuated that you weren't a good friend

Helga: OMG Will you stop football head? I already said it was fine. Listen we're friends and stop worrying so much about it. We may not be the best of friends but that's fine. Isn't it?

Arnold: You are pretty damn close to being a best friend Helga.

Helga: Eh, sorry don't see it. We might have had our run-ins as kids but I don't think that constitutes as best friends though.

Arnold: You know it was more than a few run-ins Helga

Helga not wanting Arnold to bring up the FTI business, or all the times they were put together by the universe, or the various times they kissed only to have her mess all those chances up or Arnold not see that Helga was in love with him: They're really not worth a mention Arnold. Okay listen bub if it makes you feel any better we are great friends

Arnold: You called me Arnold

Helga pleased how easy it was to distract Arnold: Well I'm serious. We can hang out especially since our best friends are basically dating exclusively. I know Phoebe doesn't date around.

Arnold: Gerald hasn't for a while…

Helga: Why don't they just make it exclusive? Criminy!

Arnold: I guess they don't want to define it what with us all graduating

Helga and Arnold continued to text back and forth. She had decided to keep the conversation mostly one-sided with her asking questions from Arnold and his replying. The conversation came to a lull when Helga said her goodbyes letting Arnold know that with school and college applications she was going to be busy. She also suggested that the four of them including Maria and anyone else could go to dinner or the movies. She smiled as Arnold asked if it was okay to text her. Her response was a "we were already texting Arnoldo" and imagined the exasperated sigh Arnold was sure to have done. Helga enjoyed how easily Arnold could be flustered.

Back at her dorm room Helga changed into what she dubbed her librarian attire. The dress code was strict enough that Helga had to work her way through the clothing racks to find some business casual attire. Truth be told Helga hated business wear but figured that she could at least wear them for future job and college interviews. Helga changed into a white blouse with a band collar that tied to one side in a floppy bow. She tucked it into her tight, black skinny jeans that ended above her ankle. She finished the look with a simple, chic black blazer and 3 inch stiletto heels in a leopard print.

"Cara," Helga called out to her roommate who turned around from her math homework, "Gonna be heading out to the library. No sexing up in my bed."

"Ha ha fuck you," Cara smiled, "So you're gonna tell me everything that is going on over a tub of ice cream, whip cream and the fixings."

"Yeah sure," Helga smiled, "I checked with the RA after apologizing about what happened which I'm gonna spill later and they're gonna let Pheebs spend the night. She's happy because it allows her to get to the library early."

"Cool!" Cara smiled widely, "she can help me with my homework. That girl has some serious brains on her. She's been giving Philip a serious run of his money for valedictorian."

"All I know is that I'd like a Summa cum laude but I don't think that's gonna happen."

"As if Magna cum laude is nothing to boast at."

"Yeah I just hope the places I'm applying for thinks like that," Helga smiled and said her goodbyes.

Helga arrived at the library fifteen minutes prior. The librarian, Mrs. Coulson, was about to make a comment about tardiness and Helga smiled and pointed to the clock. The two laughed together with Mrs. Coulson remarking about how she never had to worry about Helga. Helga retorted that living in the dorms had its perks.

The job was simple and could be tedious at times. Helga took the books from the carts and shelved them according to the National Library of Congress which was much more difficult than the Dewey decimal system. Helga still had a cheat sheet with her for when she needed the extra help. She was referring to the cheat sheet less and less but it helped not having to bug Mrs. Coulson with questions that could be answered with a bit of research and patience.

She felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around starting her usual spiel, "Yes? How can I help you?"

"I was wondering if I could borrow your notes in Mr. Gooseberry's class." Phoebe smiled.

"Yeah sure," Helga smiled, "Cara's in the room doing homework also begging for your help. And you're going to get the full scoop later."

Helga remembered the scene earlier that day and felt herself short circuiting. It wasn't only the fact that she had seen Arnold in only clad in boxer briefs and realized that he had very much grown up into a man. It was the fact that he had seen her completely nude, in the buff, au naturel. Helga could feel herself becoming red with a blush.

"Helga," Phoebe said trying to stifle a smile, "what happened?"

"I can't," Helga shook her head rapidly, "I'm sure Mrs. Coulson would get mad at me slacking off."

Mrs. Coulson stood behind her and let out a quiet cough. Helga turned around and let out a nervous laughter trying to desperately tell Mrs. Coulson that Phoebe was only momentarily dropping by to grab her notes. She also emphasized that she was busy putting the books away. Mrs. Coulson shushed Helga stating that because it was a Saturday night the only students in the library were ones like Phoebe who most likely had their homework done by Wednesday only to have Phoebe reply with a Tuesday. Mrs. Coulson smiling at the response invited them into her office offering some tea and cookies, she wanted in on the gossip. She left the blinds open and put out the bell that students could ring for service.

It was then that Helga gushed her entire story. From what happened to her mom and the news about the hearing to the anxiety attack she was having about the following proceedings. She then went into detail about the night she spent at Sunset Arms, which elicited a squeak from Phoebe, to everything that happened early that morning, and until the early afternoon. She even spoke of that 'that incident' and the fact that Arnold must have been so enamored with Maria he seemed so unaffected.

Mrs. Coulson let out a soft laugh. She patted Helga's hand and began to share her thoughts about how Arnold most likely had seen Helga's discomfort and did not want to make the situation worse. The fact that he had not stared lewdly, or reacted in a way that would have made the situation more awkward. The fact that he turned away meant he was as affected as she was.

The girls laughed and Helga felt much better. She was relieved to see that they were both affected thoroughly. "Poor Arnold," Helga mused, "seeing Helga G. Pataki in the buff." Helga let out a soft puttering laugh. The rest of the shift was spent talking about Phoebe's life, her relationship with Gerald becoming more serious.

Helga felt so much lighter. It was wonderful to have Phoebe and Mrs. Coulson to voice everything that had happened, her fears, her thoughts. Helga smiled as she was reminded of her neighbor who had been there when her family had not. Helga made a note to visit her grave and have a long overdue conversation with her. It also made Helga realize that she was going to bake something for Mrs. Coulson who was becoming like a kindly grandmother.

Phoebe and Helga walked back to her dorm room. Both were deep in thought and unsure how to make heads and tails out of 'ice cream.' Phoebe looked up to her friend and noticed her frown and occasional smile.

"Helga," Phoebe asked quietly.

"Yeah Pheebs?" Helga responded.

"How do you feel about ice cream?" Phoebe asked, both knew what she was insinuating.

"I know I think he's handsome, so there's that," Helga paused, "and I don't think I love him the way I did when I was younger. I do still love him but I don't know how to explain it. I do love him. It's more than just the idea of what he represents. But I'm not in love with him… thing is though I do think I could actually fall in love with him. Therein lies the problem Pheebs."

"How can falling in love be a problem," Phoebe replied shaking her head.

"Yeah, but it's going to be same old thing," Helga bit her lower lip, "this time I will actually fall in love with him but I'm too scared to tell him and he's too dense to notice, or he's stuck in how sees me. Then he'll parade his new crush in front of me. It was Ruth, Lila, Summer and others before and now Maria. Who can say who he'll dangle in front of me if Maria and he don't work out?"

"You can't say that for sure Helga," Phoebe consoled.

"I know but I feel like I'm going to be the hamster in a wheel," Helga replied, "I think we'll be making progress but then I'll realize I'm going nowhere, we're going nowhere. Even in the jungle I acted even worse because I was afraid to show my real feelings. But you didn't see what I saw, Arnold have this look of panic when he even thought that the label, this box, that he put me in was wrong."

"But we were just kids then," Phoebe retorted.

"That's true and I'm willing to go out on a limb, get to know him and see where it goes," Helga relented, "and hope that the universe works in our favor where if I do fall in love with everything he is and not just what he represents, that he feels the same and that we're both at the right place and the right time. Because being in love and knowing the other person doesn't feel the same or can't even regard you in that light really, really hurts."

"You know," Phoebe smiled slightly, "have you thought of having, oh I don't know, me drop off your novella that you wrote for the contest?"

"Er," Helga paused for several long moments, "but isn't that pushing something along mechanically? Wouldn't be better to let the chips fall where they may?"

"Or you can treat this like a chess game where you have to plan your move several steps ahead and be willing to put your pieces out there," Phoebe replied.

"Well, Pheebs," Helga said shyly, "if you think it'd do some good but oh god he's going to learn everything. I hope I'm brave enough to face him after that."

"I think you're a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for," Phoebe said warmly. They returned to the dorm room for a study session, more girl talk, and making even better friends with Ben and Jerry while watching a couple of romantic comedies.


	8. Studying Anatomy in the Library

The girls walked across the courtyard when they heard a shout behind them. Gerald was running up to them with a smile. He gave Phoebe a hug while kissing her on her temple causing her to blush and an embarrassed giggle. Helga smiled at the young couple in love. It had been a long time coming. Helga was happy that of the two at least one of them had their crush work out in the long run. Helga twisted her mouth to one side as she noticed their kisses were getting a bit more heated.  
“Guys,” Helga coughed, feeling more and more awkward, as she pointed towards back to the library behind Phoebe, “the library’s open until like eleven so why don’t you two hang out for a bit. I’m going back to my dorm. I’ll wait up for you Pheebs.”

 

“Sure thing Pataki,” Gerald said in between kisses with Phoebe responding with giggles, “but I brought along a friend.”

 

Helga raised an eyebrow. The kissing had ceased as both Gerald and Phoebe waited for Helga’s response. Helga looked to Phoebe and to Gerald then back to Phoebe. Phoebe’s wide eyes, as if she were a deer caught in the headlights, meant she was in on it as well. Helga sighed and shook her head. 

 

“Good thing I retired Ol’ Betsy, and the Five Avengers,” Helga muttered quietly to herself. She wasn’t certain as to what their endgame was. For the moment she wasn’t sure herself even after her conversation with Phoebe or in the very least how to proceed. She still had a lot of questions she had to answer for herself. She had to be honest with herself so that she could handle the situation the best she could. Maybe Phoebe had this want of having the both of them marry their crushes in a double wedding a la the Bennett sisters in the 1995 version of Pride and Prejudice. Helga inwardly laughed and scolded her silly imagination.

 

“All right, Geraldo,” Helga said a bit too evenly, “what’s even going on? What plan did you concoct in that tall-hair head of yours?”

“I wanted to hang out with Phoebe,” Gerald responded with a sigh, “but Arnold wanted to hang out with me as well. So I put the two together and came up with both of us visiting Phoebe.”

“Pheebs,” Helga asked apprehensively, “you didn’t know that Gerald would want to hang out, right? Or that it’d include Arnold?”

“Well,” Phoebe said with a mischevious smile as she shifted her blue cat-eye glasses upward, “it would be a logical assumption that the two would have much to catch up on.”  
“Pheebs,” Helga said quietly feeling defeated but gave Phoebe a knowing look, which caused Phoebe to lick her lips apprehensively, “as long as they showed up now versus much earlier than it’s fine.”

“Helga,” Helga turned around when she heard approaching footsteps only to see Arnold smiling sheepishly, “truthfully I kind of made Gerald and Phoebe plan something as soon as you left my house.”

Arnold noticed Helga’s eyes narrowing in confusion, “I still felt bad about earlier and wanted to make it up to you.”

“Arnold,” Helga hung her head quickly causing her floppy bun to jiggle. Helga brought her left hand to cover her eyes momentarily before pinching the bridge of her nose. She finally swiped her hand downward trying to wipe away her dismay, “you know what I texted earlier. It. Is. Okay. I totally understood where you were coming from.”

“But I shouldn’t have singled you out,” Arnold said looking down at Helga’s pretty heels never guessing Helga for a leopard-print sort of girl, and did his best to hide his blush at saying the word naked, “I guess I felt embarrassed and nervous at you seeing naked baby pictures of me… really nervous actually.”

 

Helga stared at Arnold unsure what to make of him. She couldn’t understand why he was making such a big deal over something he said. Helga only validated what he believed so why did she feel badly about it now and why did Arnold feel bad much less nervous? Technically he was the one who defined their relationship rather tactlessly even if truthful. Helga deeply sighed causing Arnold to raise his head up. She could only stare again. She ignored the soft giggles from behind her. No doubt Phoebe was giggling at them and at the affection Gerald was throwing at her. Helga decided to ignore them and try to make sense of Arnold.

 

“I guess,” Helga spoke quietly, leaning in not wanting Phoebe and Gerald to overhear, and had a difficult time trying not to be distracted by the cologne, musk, and very male scent, “I don’t understand why you won’t let this go. I’m not an ‘intimate friend’ Arnold and we both know why. If you want to see me as a good friend, even a best one, then I honestly don’t mind. I figure that’s what you want?”

 

Arnold looked away and frowned. He couldn’t give Helga an honest answer because he was unsure as to why this was bugging him so much. He might have regretted how he handled the situation earlier. However everything Helga was saying made so much sense. So much sense that he’d agree, should agree, but it still didn’t feel right.

 

“I honestly don’t know,” Arnold frowned, letting out a huff, “I guess I know what you are saying makes sense, a lot of sense, but for some reason it doesn’t feel right. If you know what I mean.”

“I sort of understand,” Helga said feeling Arnold’s closeness now a bit too keenly and slightly miffed that he appeared to be unaffected, again, “but I guess that ‘off feeling’ you’re talking about is something you have to figure out on your own.”

 

Arnold looked down feeling unsettled staring at Helga settling for Helga’s heels again and gulped. He was trying to forget the images, or at least keep them at bay for a while in Helga’s presence, which flashed intermittently in his mind. It was the gentlemanly thing to do. Helga would be mortified if she knew that he kept picturing her from that afternoon and decided to hide his thoughts. He decided to try and hide as best as he could what was his base reaction to seeing a gorgeous girl completely nude. “Gorgeous girl,” Arnold thought to himself who didn’t realize until then how he thought of Helga aside from the does-not-compute-Helga-is-nude-commence-emotional-shutdown-in-3-2-1 short circuiting his brain did earlier.

He took one long look at Helga who stood directly eye level. He was surprised to see how tall Helga had grown. With his being six feet two inches, something he was very happy about, meant that Helga was only an inch shy of being six feet tall and assuming she didn’t have another growth spurt. He connected with her scrutinizing blue eyes. They locked onto each other unsure of what to say or do next. Helga let out a soft smile, and breathy laugh. A laugh that caused Arnold to let a smile that crinkled the corner of his eyes.

 

“Well I guess it’s settled, no?” Helga continued as she looked away briefly then return her stare to Arnold’s face, “We’ve determined that we’re best friends, and that you still have some issues to work out. I think that’s a pretty good first step to our friendship.”

“A nice first step,” Arnold smiled, “one of many I hope.”

“Well, football head,” Helga said smiling, “I’m like a barnacle. You’re stuck with me for life.”

“Helga, does that make me a whale wait or a pier or a rock?” Arnold laughed. 

 

Helga could only smirk in a response that said you-got-bucko which meant Arnold was a rock. Arnold could even hear Helga say that in his head even with her only giving a smirk as a response. Helga took a deep breath as she looked towards Arnold who had not realized how true his comment about him being a rock had been. He was a rock. He was everyone’s rock growing up, and he was Helga’s rock when everything felt so chaotic and stormy. She turned her head to Phoebe and Gerald who felt Arnold’s stare who narrowly missed Helga staring at him or at least felt her staring.

Phoebe and Gerald were talking quietly amongst themselves interrupted by kissing. There were cute, sweet innocent pecks, to long, lingering full on smooches. Phoebe did wonder while enjoying Gerald’s kisses when the two had actually arrived. She hoped that Gerald and Arnold had not come much earlier where they could have had listened in on their conversation and gossip.

Arnold and Helga walked behind Phoebe and Gerald back to the library. They had decided to allow the lovebirds some time to be together before Gerald had to head back home, and without a stricter curfew looming over them. Helga looked at Phoebe and let out a quiet chuckle. Arnold looked at Helga and smiled.

 

“Penny for your thoughts,” Arnold asked.

“My thoughts cost a nickel,” Helga retorted still smiling.

“Well I’d pay a quarter to hear your thoughts,” Arnold said laughing softly, “since they’re so damn elusive.”

“Well,” Helga said trying to stifle a giggle, “I think that Phoebe took the opportunity of you wanting to work out the kinks of our friendship by planning this sleepover so that she could spend some extra time studying anatomy.”

“What?” Arnold asked shaking his head in confusion, then slowly the lights brightened. He couldn’t help but look mortified considering it was Phoebe and Gerald that Helga was talking about, “Oh god, Helga!”

“It’s true,” Helga said nonplussed and slightly shrugged, “the library is usually dead Sunday nights but it’s open regardless because of a stipulation of the donating family to keep the library open every day. So well with one librarian and it being fairly empty means it’s a good chance for teenagers to be a bit naughty. Though not as many try as you’d think because Mrs. Coulson is a ninja who has a habit of popping up when you least expect it.”

“Like with Phoebe and Gerald?” Arnold asked.

“I don’t think so,” Helga responded then shrugged again, “I mean she likes Phoebe and myself but she might draw the line at enjoying the pleasures of teenage hormones.”

“The pleasures of teenage hormones,” Arnold said with his forehead creasing unsure if to feel mortified at how Helga had phrased it or at how Gerald and Phoebe were interested in the pleasures of teenage hormones.

“Remind me then to stay away from wherever they end up,” Arnold shuddered deciding to be slightly disturbed at both, “I do not want that sort of image in my head.”

“You and me both bucko,” Helga said punching Arnold softly in the arm.

“Hey!” Arnold said in mock pain, rubbing his arm, “I thought you retired Ol’ Betsey…”

“Never for you Arnoldo,” Helga responded then stuck her tongue out, “you’re a special case.”

 

They walked in silence for a few moments. The only sound in the dimly-lit courtyard were the occasional hoot of an owl and the giggling squeal of Phoebe up ahead. Helga frowned while thinking for a moment and before her brain could stop her from asking.

 

“You remember which hands belonged to which names?” Helga let out an unbelieving soft laugh.

“You did threaten a lot of us, and me in particular, on a daily basis,” Arnold retorted then softened when he saw Helga flinch slightly and look away, “though you never did hurt me at least physically.”

 

Helga’s shoulders tensed. The tension between them grew. She rubbed her upper arm nervously while taking quick glances. There was a forlorn look marring Arnold’s face. It seemed that he had not forgotten how she had treated him while they had looked for his parents in San Lorenzo. He may have forgiven as that was his nature but he had certainly not forgotten. 

Arnold in turn tried to hide the hurt he had dealt with from their adventure all those years ago. He had always thought there was something there underneath the shell. That maybe the blustery exterior Helga did not hate him as much as she shouted she did. Then all those new words and threats, it seemed he had been proven wrong. The realization had hurt him to his core. It had affected him more than he could ever explain. Something inside had felt hollow that even after reuniting with his family did not fix. Yet at the end of the trip Helga had pulled him aside. A simple gentle but firm pull on his arm and his heart had hitched up into his throat.

Arnold recalled barely-a-teenager Helga pull him aside and had given her apologies. She had given him the same non-personal explanation the way Helga had that night when he asked her about why she had to go to the police department. It did pain him that she still couldn’t confide in him or was able to.

 

“I remember what you said before I told you about not returning to Hillwood for middle school.”

“You do?” Helga questioned, “Why?”

“Because Helga,” Arnold responded almost flabbergasted that she’d have to ask, “I thought of you as a friend. I was hurt when you started to bully me even worse than before.”

“Then I apologized,” Helga injected into the conversation making sure Arnold remembered.

“Yes, then you apologized,” Arnold responded, “but you said that you didn’t hate me as much as you projected. But you couldn’t tell me why.”

“It’s true,” Helga said quietly, “I wasn’t ready to tell you Arnold.”

“Are you ready now?” Arnold asked staring at a very nervous Helga who was biting her lip and rubbing her upper arm.

“Well,” Helga replied, “about that.”

 

Arnold slowed down as Helga’s gait became more nervous and unsure. She had a far off look and bit her bottom lip a bit harder. They both had been remembering the same memory but in different ways. Arnold felt sad that Helga couldn’t confide in him. Helga, rather, felt angry that even then while they were walking through the courtyard she was still nervous. She knew that she would have to give Arnold a copy of her short story. Helga was unsure if she’d be able to express properly without messing up terribly. Having Arnold read the short story would help create some distance while he read it. It would also allow her some time to prepare for the possibility of his reaction. Helga feared that Arnold would outright reject the idea of Helga being in love with him. However knowing Arnold he’d be nice about it which pained Helga more than the outright rejection. Arnold was often nice to a fault. If he’d have a tame, nice reaction to her story he’d give her hope. Hope that her plan might succeed and Helga was resolute in being logical enough to see this through and at least be able to see the signs. The signs of Arnold not liking her, liking liking her, or even seeing love as a viable option.


End file.
